so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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