This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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