Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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