You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Say something about gay babies.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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