FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
