The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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