She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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