Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
