I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
