I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
