3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
