Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
