'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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