I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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