You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
