I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Of course I have a pirate flag
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
