I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
His hands were made for my vagina.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
