I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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