oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize