I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Holy shit dude........stairs
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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