Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
