What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
