id be glad to
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
