Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
