Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
