just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
