better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
