I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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