if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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