nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
