hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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