If that was your dad, he is hot
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
