I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize