Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
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The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
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My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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