your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
