Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize