Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
