When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
