I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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