please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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