You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
