my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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