perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
