I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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