my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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