I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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