I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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