I wannas sexs uuuuu
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
