they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
