In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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