this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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