at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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