I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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