Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
