Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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